It’s very easy to shame myself when I can’t work as long as other people. Of course, like anybody else who creates their own misery, I only compare myself with those who publicly announce their insane work hours.

I don’t have examples of these super productive people but somehow they’ve all amalgamated in my mind as a mythical group of people who work at least 8 hours per day probably almost every day. And when I evaluated my own hours, I realised I can barely do 2 hours of work every day and I have to take a break from any work at least once a week.

Here’s one problem in my evaluations of my low productivity. When people claim they work hours a day, that normally means they are in a working environment and normally in front of a working station like computers. 8 hours at a workplace is not the same as 8 hours of actual work. When I track my time, I only track actual work i.e. start the timer immediately at the start of work. Of course, even that supposed work might hide some non-work activities like distractions and the sudden arrival of a train of depressive thoughts that take time to untangle, but by and large, the tracked time is a lot more representative of my work hours.

The next issue is I should work according to my own energy rhythm and not follow some arbitrary working hours standard that is not likely customised for an individual’s biological and psychological makeup.

My energy is at its peak early in the morning around 5am and I can sustain that energy until noon at 1pm. My energy is moderate for a few hours from 1pm - 4pm and I can feel a big dip in energy from 4pm - 7pm. No matter how little work I do during the day, I normally find myself very tired from 7pm to 10pm. From my observations, the energy rhythm I outlined before is consistent in most situations and tend to be disrupted exclusively by changes in sleep patterns. I used to impose an imagined working hours and patterns into my life but I realise now it’s counterproductive to do so. A better way of working (and living) is to accept my energy’s ebb and flow and do my best within that constraint.

Depending on my life situation, it can be difficult to adapt my schedule around my energy rhythm. For example, even though my bed time is around 9-10pm, sometimes one of my family members would bring food back home and I don’t have the heart to not eat that when everyone else is doing the same. There’s compromise involved and this is when it’s important to let go of imperfection. I don’t need to honour my energy rhythm fully; sometimes it’s worth it to ignore how I feel in return for more work or better social synchronisation (e.g. hanging out with others or eating together).

Takeaways:

1. Observe and listen to my energy rhythm.
2. Don’t compare my energy rhythm with someone else’s. Work with what I have, not wish for a different one.
3. Avoid perfectionism when creating an energy-personalised schedule. There are worthwhile tradeoffs for doing something even when your energy pattern doesn’t fit the activity.